This week my new friend Lisa reminded me of a powerful truth: you don’t have to do things – you get to do things. I’m so grateful, because I needed to hear that.
It landed in the middle of a busy week – the kind where the calendar feels like it’s running me. And then her words reframed everything.
I don’t have to answer emails; I get to serve people who trust me. I don’t have to do school pickup; I get to be the face my child sees first. I don’t have to work out; I get to move a body that’s healing and capable. I don’t have to budget; I get to steward resources toward what matters.
This shift isn’t toxic positivity. It’s agency. It takes us from obligation to opportunity, from resentment to responsibility, from “why me?” to “why not me?” When we live in “get to,” two things happen:
- Our energy lifts (gratitude oxygenates the moment).
- Our excellence rises (love shows up when we choose the task, not endure it).
This reframe also changes relationships. “I have to talk about this conflict” becomes “I get to build trust.” “We have to plan the week” becomes “we get to design a life that fits us.” Same actions, new atmosphere.
A tiny practice for today:
- Pick one task you’re resisting.
- Say out loud: “I get to ______ because ______.” (Name the privilege, purpose, or person.)
If faith speaks to you: every breath is borrowed and blessed. We don’t control outcomes, but we get to choose presence, stewardship, and love.
Reflect: Where in your day can you replace one “have to” with a “get to” and who benefits when you do?